February 10, 2015

missing Chance...

{The post below first appeared on a former blog, posted July 24, 2010. Even after all this time, I still miss Chance...}

It's been almost 6 weeks since our cat Chance died, and we still miss him terribly. He was 16 years old, totally sweet and fun and loving, and completely spoiled.

We've talked about the possibility of getting another cat or two at some point, but it doesn't feel like the right time yet. Not only do we miss Chance because of missing him and his wonderful, loving presence, but these past weeks have also seemed strange because this is the first time in over 20 years of marriage that we haven't had any animals. It makes the house seem... odd, and even a bit unfamiliar in some way.

[We did get another kitty a few months later.]

Making jewelry and working on my etsy shop have helped keep me busy during this time of grieving and adjusting. I've needed something to do, something to focus on, and this has been a big help. I can lose myself to looking through my gemstones and charms and findings, deciding what to put together next, working out a design or a theme if it's going to be that kind of piece.

It's been therapeutic.

One of the other things to help during this time has been aromatherapy. Many, many days I have used oils or blends - either in an oil burner or aromalamp, or in a carrier oil to use for a soothing massage - to help with my emotions. I've reached for oils such as cypress, sweet marjoram, lavender, bergamot, or orange to help with grief. Lemon, grapefruit, petitgrain, melissa, roman chamomile, peppermint, and juniperberry are others that I've found especially helpful during this time.

Reiki has also helped me a great deal during these past weeks. Whether I'm doing a self-treatment or seeing another Reiki practitioner for a session, the healing energy has been in aid in soothing the grief and making my way through this time of adjustment and transition.

Other things have helped too, but I'll stop for now before this becomes too very long.

Loss... of animals, people, jobs, friendships, dreams... is hard. When you're dealing with grief and loss in your own life, I hope you'll find your way to whatever helps ease the pain and soothe your soul.

February 4, 2015

face the day...

I wake up
after a few or many hours,
sometimes struggling to
face the day.

Sometimes I talk to myself
or give myself Reiki
to gather what's needed to
face the day.

I give thanks for the sleep
and thanks for today
even if it feels hard to
face the day.

'Cause even when stuff's hard
and I bitch and resist,
I'm thankful for the good.
Gratitude's how I roll.

Mornings have never been
my time.
I'm a night owl by nature
not a morning early bird.

But I know some days that's not
what's really going on
when it comes to my struggle to
face the day.

Sometimes it's just hard,
so fucking hard,
just to get up and
face the day.

I sit on the side of the bed
or stand up beside it,
my feet on the ground
to help ground me.

Surround me with your protection,
I whisper
or say silently
or way out loud.

The volume doesn't matter,
because you know
my heart-words
even if I don't speak them.

Reaching up I ask for your light
and your love and your healing
to fill me completely
and ground me to earth.

The soles of my feet
kiss the earth that's the floor
and I ask for mama's energy
to nourish me.

I stay there not moving
until I know for sure
I'm firmly connected
to heaven and to earth.

As above, so below.
As within, so without.
And I take a deep breath and I
face the day.