August 17, 2014

day 23 journey with joy ~ places...


It's been a gray day here, with a thunder storm rolling through earlier bringing lots of rain and thunder and lightning. For a few different reasons, it's been hard today for me to make a connection to joy.

Hard to feel the joy.

(even if I know it's there, inside)

On days like this it helps me if I can think of anything - and any place - where I've felt joy.

For me, the beach holds many, many joyful memories and feelings.


At times when you have a hard time connecting with joy, thinking of a place you love might help.





August 7, 2014

day 14 journey with joy ~ taking a break


Sometimes connecting with joy means taking a break and getting more rest. 'Cause if we're exhausted - physically or emotionally - it can sort of block the channel to joy.

(I'm not talking about feeling physically exhausted in that 'good' sort of way, like when you've had a wonderful day doing something that lights you on fire or has been full of fun or good times with loved ones... I'm talking about the not-so-good kind of being physically exhausted.)

Self-care can help with connecting to joy.

And sometimes self-care is getting more rest.







August 6, 2014

day 12 journey with joy ~ hanging out...


Today... partly cloudy outside, hot but not blazing. It was very very late when I finally went to sleep last night but I was able to sleep late this morning - which gave me a really late start to my day, but that's okay because today is a day when I only had a few things planned. And today is a day when I wanted to mostly be in that take-it-easy space.

(fortunately, my schedule allowed for it too)

My husband had an unexpected change at work - nothing bad - and around mid-day he called to tell me he was coming home a few hours early.

Suddenly the afternoon felt sort of like a play day. Or a surprise vacation day.

On his way home, he stopped at a local Tex-Mex restaurant, got my favorite meal, and brought it to me for lunch.

We ate in front of the tv and watched a show we always enjoy watching together.

We've just been watching tv and hanging out.


I realize some people would say watching tv isn't a great way to spend a free afternoon... but I say it's our life, our free time, and there are shows we enjoy. I'm not going to pretend I don't like tv and movies. Entertainment in front of the tube has its purpose.

This was a simple way to spend an afternoon. A relaxing way.

But it felt - it has been - an afternoon of joy.





August 3, 2014

day 9 journey with joy ~ painting, listening...


It's been a low-intensity day. (I'm still dealing with sinus issues, and self-care mode is very much activated.) I've been catching up on listening to some online recordings and watching some online videos. There's so much good stuff. But sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I simply can't keep up with all of it.

I have to choose and prioritize. I have to let some things go, and be okay with the releasing.

It's interesting for me to realize how so many of the audios and videos talk about similar themes. There's a lot of inter-connectedness and overlapping, and it's fascinating to see synchronicity at work this way.

(because I feel like I'm hearing these things, from so many different people and places, for a reason)

So I'm listening.

Listening for the messages, for what I'm meant to learn from all of this.

It feels important.

I've also been painting today.

And again, I listen.

I stand there and I listen to some inner voice (or maybe it's an outer voice which feels internal) tell me what color to use and where to put it and what to do with it.

Sometimes when I paint, emotions come to the surface, moving through me, to be released.

Today I just felt calm.

Peaceful.

And painting - and the sense of inner peace - definitely joyful, both of them.

Sometimes it feels really good to simply feel calm and peace.

The inner peace and calm - the inner quiet - make it easier for me to listen.





August 2, 2014

day 8 journey with joy ~ kitty love...


Saturday. Cloudy and hot. I slept for a full 8 hours last night... much needed sleep - rejuvenating, nourishing, healing.

It's been a day of relaxing.

Just relaxing, relaxing, relaxing.

Taking it easy. Watching a tv marathon with my husband.

Enjoying the company of our sweet kitty.

Letting the ick and the dense emotions of the week drain away.

Contentment.

Joy in the moment.







August 1, 2014

day 7 journey with joy ~ cycles and supplies...


I didn't get much sleep last night... although I got more than night before last, when bothersome thoughts kept roaming through my mind and kept me awake until the time many people were getting up for the day. When I woke up this morning, I was grateful for the sleep I did get.

And I was still feeling emotionally raw from the past couple of days.

Old stuff - stuff I've already dealt with on many levels - resurfaced for another go-round of healing at a new and deeper level. Things I thought I'd energetically cleared showed up and said nope we're still here, you haven't totally finished the work of releasing.

Some very important questions around believing and trusting and relationships and emotions and what's real and what's not.

I spent part of the morning doing some processing around what's happened the past couple of days. I did some of the healing work which needs to be done.

This is a process.

This is stuff that's a lifetime old (and possibly even older).

I'm being kind to myself about the fact more healing still needs to be done. I know how these things - and the healing journey itself - can go in cycles, or be like a spiral.

To expect only forward momentum - or for a 'good place' to remain always good, always static - isn't realistic.

Life doesn't usually work like that.

There's light.

And there's shadow.

There are ups.

And there are downs.

There are cycles. There's the spiral of life. Our emotional and healing journeys aren't linear.

After some time spent on processing and healing (work which isn't over, it'll continue), my husband and I headed on a drive in the beautiful sunshine and visited a craft store where I spent time joyfully - yes, definitely joyfully! - exploring the aisles and gathering some supplies.

I was low on a few shades of blue, so I bought new tubes.

I stocked up on more large canvases as well as canvas panels.

And I bought a new sketchbook. (Can I just say how much I love sketchpads and notebooks and journals?!)


And when we got home I spent some time playing with paint.

I still feel a little bit like I'm in an emotional-recovery space, feeling the need to be gentle with myself, feeling the need to do a lot of self-care.

At the same time, I've definitely felt the connection to joy today.

The time of working on processing and healing, driving in the sunshine, walking through the parking lot holding hands with my husband, shopping the aisles for painting supplies, a cold drink on a hot day, standing in front of my easel while I painted...

Joy.