August 6, 2013

choices...


Recently I was involved in an in-person group discussion where a statement came up (more than once) about choices. As in... "we have no choice but to _____." And immediately, that pinged something inside of me.

We do have a choice. We often have more choices than we realize.

There are certain situations which come along in life and offer no good choices (or choices we would want to make).

There are some life circumstances where there truly is no choice (but those are rare in a lifetime).

Otherwise, we have choices.

In the conversation I mentioned, if it had been phrased as "we have no choice but to _____ unless we want _____ to happen" ... well, that would have been more on target. Even then, though, there would have been other choices that could be made to avoid the other-thing happening.

Sometimes I feel like I have no choice about something. Sometimes I don't see the choices which are available. Sometimes I don't know which choice to make. Sometimes none of the choices are things I want to choose.

But still, except in certain circumstances, there are always choices.

I have a choice. You have a choice.

And when I make a choice... I own it. Even if I later feel I made the wrong choice, I still own the decision as being my choice. I'll sometimes ask for input or advice or intuitive hits or guidance from others - but still, it comes down to making my own choice.

I own the choice. And I own the consequences of that choice.

If I ask my husband for his advice or input about something, and he gives it to me, and I end up making the choice or decision he was in line with, and then it doesn't work out the way I planned or I end up wishing I hadn't made the decision - I don't blame him for it. I don't say "well, you told me..." or "I did this because you thought..."

No.

One thing I do is own my decisions and my choices.

And I really don't like it when someone tells me that I (or we) have no choice.

Because really? The vast majority of the time, that statement simply is not true.

Realize you have choices.

Make your own choices.

Own your choices.

And please don't try to tell other people they have no choice.

'Cause usually they do. As do we all.

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