April 5, 2016

feeling free...

Last week, Danielle LaPorte's #truthbomb decks arrived in the mail. The decks were 50% off for a short time last month and my temptation was too strong to resist. I'd been wanting these cards for quite a while.

I decided to keep one deck in my workroom and the other in the bedroom. I've been pulling one or two cards each day. Messages to myself. Reminders.


A few days ago I pulled a card from the deck in my workroom.

But do you feel free?

This caught my attention in a big way (for too many reasons to go into in one blog post).

I immediately decided to pull another card, this time from the cards in the other room.

feel free

Message received.

I've been keeping these two cards out, keeping them in easy sight, for the past few days. As reminders. Truthbombs.

Because the truth is, I haven't been feeling free.

The why of that feeling involves life choices, health issues, financial stuff, and more.

Some of these things aren't completely in my control (because, despite what some simplification-explanations of law of attraction say, or what's sometimes said in new age or metaphysical or spiritual circles, not everything is in our control - life is way too interconnected, in too many ways we can't begin to even see or understand, for us to be able to control or create every.single.aspect of the life we experience).

But when it comes to some of the reasons I wasn't feeling free, I did have control and a choice. I could make a different decision. I could take a new direction.

And even with those things I can't control, I can choose to find a sense of freedom even while I'm in those things. It isn't always easy for me to do that - and I'm far from always being successful at it - but it's possible.

When it comes to feeling free, I listen to my body.

I place my attention and awareness on my heart space and my gut. My heart chakra and solar plexus chakra. For me, those areas in my body tell me.

Does my heart feel open and spacious? Or does it feel tight and constricted?

Is my gut telling me yes or no? Is my breathing easy? Do I feel tied in knots?

Paying attention to my body can help me make a decision that moves me in the direction of feeling free.

The body is an amazing truth-teller.

But do you feel free?

feel free

February 3, 2016

more root chakra work...

All chakras are important, and I work on all of my chakras... but a chakra that's needed ongoing and long-term support is my root chakra, the first chakra, sometimes also called the base chakra.

A few months ago, I wrote a post about some of the current issues impacting my root chakra, and I shared some of things I was doing to give special attention to balancing and boosting this area.

My equilibrium problems still continue (no diagnosis yet, more doc appointments coming up) - and the physical issue is literally like not being fully rooted to the ground. (Hello, root chakra stuff!)

Also, this and other life-happenings require me to do things to keep anxiety in check... which, for me, is very connected to my root chakra.

So the root chakra work continues.

In addition to the things I mentioned in the earlier post - working with crystals, essential oils, meditations, grounding techniques, creativity - I'm amping up the focus on this chakra in other ways.

I'm doing more mantra work. Not only repeating mantras to myself (silently or out loud) but also putting them in writing.

Whether it's combining chakra-and-mantra work with practicing lettering, or simply writing a mantra again and again and again...

I've also been incorporating more color therapy into my day.

Since red is the color associated with the root chakra, I'm connecting to that color more often.

Even something like drinking water from one of my red mugs helps bring in the all-important root chakra energy and vibration.

Balancing a chakra isn't a one-and-done deal. Our chakras are continually shifting and in flux, being influence and impacted not only by things from our past but also in response to what's going on in day-to-day life.

And one chakra doesn't exist in isolation - our chakras influence each other and work together, and an imbalance in one can affect others.

That's why it's so important to do overall chakra work and chakra balancing, even if focusing more intently on one of them for a while.

That's why the goal is energetic - subtle - harmony.

And that's why the work continues... always a process, always in process.

January 29, 2016


For several reasons, comfort has been on my mind lately.

Maybe it was the lazy weekend of snowy days (snow doesn't happen very often here) and the cozy comfort of the warm indoors.

Maybe it's the ongoing physical challenges that still sometimes stir my anxiety.

Maybe it's the financial worry, or the sudden grief that can still come in periodic waves, or the desire to escape when I feel overwhelmed or over-tired.

Comfort, for me, can take a variety of forms.

I turn to self-care practices. I turn to certain friends and loved ones. I spend time with our kitty.

Painting and creating in general can provide comfort for me... and for quite a while, painting has especially been my go-to for being a creative outlet, a way to "lose" myself, and fabulously helpful at reducing my anxiety.

Prayer, resting, binge-watching Netflix - all can bring different kinds of comfort to me at different times.

And although I wish I didn't do this, sometimes I comfort-eat.

(I ate the whole thing, not only the one bite (and it was soooo good) - it had been ages since I'd had a sprinkled-covered doughnut... but I am reducing my sugar intake, so this was a special treat.)

And then there are the cards.

In addition to doing card readings for others, I also pull cards for myself. In two fairly new-to-me decks, the first cards I pulled for myself after getting each deck were both messages of comfort.

(Mother Mary Oracle by Alana Fairchild)

(Rumi Oracle by Alana Fairchild)

For me, the oracle is a tool that connects me with my intuition and also my spirituality. The messages are often affirmations, confirmations, validations... and reminders that I know what I know.

I know I'm never alone - but sometimes I forget for a while.

I know help is always available - but sometimes I forget for a while.

I know I am Divinely loved and ultimately safe - but sometimes I forget for a while.

The reminders provide comfort.

And in the comfort, I find grace.

December 15, 2015

what gets in the way...

It's been days and days since I moved to this online space. It's still not totally ready-ready (as in, I haven't added some things or done some things I plan to do). And after moving almost half my posts here, I posted a couple of times... and then I stopped.

Things here came to a stand-still. No new pages. No new posts.

What stopped me? What got in my way?


For whatever reason, I felt sort of... intimidated. Intimidated to start posting new blog posts in (yet another) new space. Intimidated by wondering if folks think I'm flaky for changing online homes twice in less than a year. Intimidated by wondering if anyone will even read what I post in this new space.

I've gotten in my own way far too often in my life. I've made the decision and the commitment that I'm not going to do it here.

So - I'm doing this new post. And by the writing of it and the posting of it, I'm hoping to break the stuckness, the hesitancy, the almost-paralysis I've been feeling about posting here.

And I think what I'll start with is an update...

I've been keeping busy with some background things regarding this space and other things connected with how I'm planning to do things in 2016. I've been doing intuitive readings and facilitating the Holiday Inner Harmony program.

I'm taking a break from facebook. I've deactivated my personal account - and it's a temporary thing but I'm not sure how long "temporary" will be. (The Subtle Harmony page is still active, so stop on by!)

Instagram is where I'm hanging out a lot these days. My account is here (I'm @subtleharmonyginwhite on instagram) and it would be great to connect if you're there too.

I've been reading. (And I've come across some really good stuff.)

I've been making new things for the etsy shop.

I've been painting. Lots of painting. Playing with paint, just letting myself paint whatever comes out, is so incredibly nourishing to my soul.

I've been doing the usual out and about things (including more doctor visits and tests, as I continue to search for what's going on with my balance issues).

I still take my cane with me when I go out - I'm using the cane I got several years ago when I broke my foot and had a long healing process of physical therapy. It's colorful, so that's a perk for me when it comes to using a cane!

My grandmother had a fabulous wood cane (her "walking stick" as she called it) and I always thought it was so full of character. When she died, someone else in the family claimed it - sometimes I think it would be good to have a cane like that too, and I could swap out the colorful and the wood as I wanted.

To be honest, though, I would prefer to need no cane at all. But I'm grateful for being able to walk, even if it means using a cane when and if I need one. I am incredibly grateful - and daily reminded of my gratitude - for being able to walk and move.

When physical things happen, they can remind us of things we might sometimes tend to take for granted.

So I'm being grateful a whole lot these days.

And I'm looking for the lessons I'm meant to learn... from my current physical challenges, and from whatever life brings. I'm looking for the things I'm meant to release as well as the new things I'm called to do.

I'm moving along on the spiral.

Because that's what we do as we journey through a life.

December 3, 2015

it is okay...

As I've been going through blog posts, deciding which ones to move over here and which ones to archive for my own personal memories of my writings, I came across some posts that somehow missed the last blog / site transition.

The (a-little-revised) post below is one of those. It's from November 2011. I want to remember what I wrote back then - I want to remember it and I want it to sink in for me even deeper now - and I decided not to keep it tucked away only in my personal digital storage locker. So here it is...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I never tried to draw a face until recently. But thanks to some things I'm doing at willowing, I recently did an art journal page that had a face for the first time.

The person I drew doesn't look like me (although sometimes I wish for purple hair!).

But she represents me.

On the other side of the page, beneath the words that are visible, beneath the layers of markers and paint and watercolor pencils and gesso, there's a whole page of sentences of stuff that goes through my head sometimes - the negative stuff, like... I'm not good enough.

And - I can't do this.

Those kinds of icky thoughts that make us not feel good about ourselves.

But then, at the end of the project, I'm left with the words that are visible...

it is OKAY to be ME

I've been thinking about this two-page spread and how it relates to all of my seven major chakras...

As a first chakra issue, the root chakra - It is safe for me to BE.

From a second chakra viewpoint, the sacral chakra - It is okay for me to be myself in relationship with others.

As a third chakra issue, the solar plexus chakra - I can step into my personal power, I can be self-actualized.

Looking at it from the fourth chakra, the heart chakra - I can love myself enough to accept myself.

As a fifth chakra issue, the throat chakra - I can speak and express my truth.

From the viewpoint of the sixth chakra, the third eye chakra - I can be open to my intuition and see the guidance to live my life and follow my own path.

And looking at it from the seventh chakra, the crown chakra - I am connected to God, one with all, and that connection makes me whole and okay.

All of this is big for me.

For so much of my life I was afraid of being myself - because I might be rejected, I might fail, I might not measure up, I might not be accepted. But the thing is... I am so beyond tired of living that way.

The past several years have been a time of learning to stop living that way - and gradually, very gradually, I have come to the place where (most days) I really know that the words in my art journaling project are true.

It is okay to be me.

It's more than okay, actually. It's necessary. It's needed. It is essential to my life to be who I am.

And if that means risking displeasure, if that means rejection, if that means not meeting certain expectations, if that means being unfriended on facebook or not being invited to a gathering... then so be it. I'm finally willing to take those risks, because I have realized - finally, fully, deep-down-realized - that some things are worth the risk.

And being okay with being me is worth the risk.

It is okay to be me.

It really is okay. It is okay for us all to be who we are. It is okay for you to be you. It is OKAY. Be yourself. Trust yourself. It might mean letting go of some things, letting go of some ideas or thoughts, letting go of some people.

And although letting go can be hard, it's not good to lose yourself in the process of trying to hold on.

Sometimes letting go is the path to peace, the path to inner harmony.

And it is okay. It is all okay.